From Bizarre To Bewildering: 35+ Products That Defy Sense

This is the age of innovation. Life today is more manageable than our predecessors, and most things we want can be had instantly. Want coffee? No need to grind beans. Open a packet, add hot water, and you have a cup of joe. Hungry? Pop a frozen pizza in the oven, and you’ll have your meal. While our grandmas had to painstakingly use mortar and pestle, all we do is casually press the button on the food processor.

That’s the way the world works. People today get to enjoy the results of the hardships of the generation before. Regrettably, nowadays, we wonder if things have gone too far. Postmodern critics claim that we have run out of clever innovations. This is why you’ll see the most bizarre products on the internet today. However, as useless as they might initially seem, they make sense. For this listicle, we compiled products you’ll begrudgingly want to buy. 

Plant Walker

The life of a plant is quite sad when you think about it. They sit in one place and grow. They do not get to see the wonders of the world. Trees keep giving humans food, shelter, and oxygen. In return, humans selfishly use and abuse them.

With this plant walker, you can reverse this misfortune. You no longer have to use the overdone excuse of walking your goldfish to escape an awkward conversation. Purchase this walker and give your cannabis plant a tour of your local mall. 

Bathroom Singer

In this day and age, you have to be extra careful. Not everyone is as they seem to appear, and looks can be deceiving. Some folks employ various tricks and manipulation to unravel a person’s true nature. However, we take the easy route. 

Just ask them if they sing in the bathroom. If they say yes, you can trust them. This microphone/ hand shower was designed with these people in mind. With this, you can safely enjoy the feeling of singing on X Factor without the scrutiny of Simon Cowell. 

Nothing

If you have an obnoxious friend who likes to preach about the brilliance of fine dining and living the high life, gift this to them on their birthday. Since they like spending more than necessary, they will likely enjoy this gift. 

This could also be a fine present for your ex. You could use it to show express gratitude for everything they did for you —- which is nada. From that perspective, you see the appeal of this invention. However, we must also acknowledge that this company is wasting plastic. 

Please, No S’more.

We love s’mores just as much as the next person. It’s virtually the perfect food. You socialize while toasting marshmallows on some open fire and enjoy it with melted chocolate. We don’t trust those who claim to dislike s’mores.

As much as we love this food, everyone should observe healthy limits. Hershey’s sadly crossed that crucial line. This is just too much. No one wants to smell s’mores while wiping. The smell makes us feel as if we’re dirty instead. 

Goldfish

Someone, please get us in contact with LE & CO’s CEO and product designer. We want to pick their brains (mainly check their mental state). Did they suffer from some mental relapse? What happened that they decided to give this product the green light?

The sky is blue; the grass is green; goldfishes are adorable, and ham is delicious —- these are some universal truths of the world. However, combining two good things does not always equate to a genius invention or product. This misalliance between goldfish and ham is a prime example.

Horseshoe

Horse girls are bullied fiercely in real life and on the internet after becoming a meme. They don’t deserve the hate directed at them. No one should be hurt for being fiercely passionate about their favorite animals, even if it rubs others the wrong way.

However, if you wear this publicly, you deserve all the hate. We don’t care how much Gucci convinces us that weird things are in fashion. Cursed items like this should be locked up in hell. Imagine if Cinderella wore this to the ball. Prince Charming would’ve banished her from the kingdom. 

Burger Holder

We wish we did not have eyes or a functional brain. We love burgers. In fact, we have never met anyone who hates burgers. Dare we say; it’s the perfect food. You’ll have a good meal if you source fresh ingredients and cook the patties well. 

The only ones who hate burgers likely had a rotten slice of tomato or lettuce in their food. However, this invention is inexcusable. We can understand if disabled people have difficulties and need the aid of this gadget. However, able-bodied folks who use this should be imprisoned.

AXE

We had to read this five times to see what was wrong. When we did, we wished we were illiterate. Men who wear Axe, in general, should be avoided at all costs. Moreover, if they wear this specific variant, you should call 911.

Who on Earth came up with this ungodly combination? It’s understandable if people want to smell like cookies and cream. However, it would make sense to never try to smell like a shoe. We like to think that the product design team made a typo, and the manufacturers just went along with it.

Twinkies

Twinkies are disastrous for your health but taste great, so staying away from them is difficult. Twinkies can send us into a sugar coma; we would not complain. However, this snack has given Americans diabetes for almost a hundred years.

Major brands often take detours from signature items to make unique offerings for major holidays. It seems Twinkies made their own version of candy cane. But this won’t distract us; we will stick to the sponge cake; thank you very much. 

Fraud

We are surprised that the FBI has not yet hunted down this company for fraud. Our friends and family should be glad this product doesn’t exist near us. A lot of innocent folks would have been scammed by it. 

Or we could start a similar business in our country. (We’d like to explicitly say that this is a joke. We don’t want the authorities coming after us). This should be useful if you were on a date with a golddigger. These fake receipts could fool parents into thinking their offsprings are not complete losers. 

Burdog

Life is already complicated. Adults have to constantly worry about paying bills and settling taxes. The future looks dire and worrisome. Will we ever be able to buy a house? Will our partner finally propose to us? Will we be able to reach our goals?

Simple things like burgers and hotdogs bring joy to our life, so this creation is getting on our nerves. It’s called fast food for a reason. This category of food is meant to be quick and straightforward. Why must they mess with what is already perfect? 

Lucky Charms

No, this person is not pouring cereal into their hot chocolate. What they are doing is far worse. They put Lucky Charms marshmallows in their hot beverage. Lucky Charms never fail and are delicious, but we must observe limits.

This isn’t delicious. Trust our words because we tried it (and we hated it). It was like chewing on colorful plastic. The overpowering fruity taste did not pair well with the hot chocolate. Moreover, it was criminally overpriced. We could have spent our money elsewhere.

Hummingbird

God must have pressed the randomize button while creating the hummingbird. How can anything be so annoyingly adorable? These tiny critters can fit on a coin and beat their wings 10 to 15 times in a second. Sadly, they are very skittish. 

Hence, they do rarely come close to humans. The only way to get a closer look at these creatures close is to use a hummingbird feeder. As comical as it looks, it works. Our only regret is that we weren’t the brains behind this.

Dogs

Even the most well-trained dog has moments of disobedience. You can train them not to get on the bed all you want. However, they will still find a way to sneak onto your bed. That’s what makes them so adorable.

Honestly, we are all for sharing our bed with our beloved pets. However, it’s understandable that sometimes you want to be alone and have the space all to yourself. Sadly, canines do as they please. Don’t despair, though; this invention will help you get back at them.

Jeff Goldblum

Kids these days will never understand Goldblum’s appeal; it kills us daily. You may recognize him mainly as the funny yet fashionable grandpa that makes cameos in your favorite Marvel movies. However, our moms and grannies beg to differ. 

Teens these days scream when they see Timothee Chalamet and One Direction dudes, or their favorite K-pop band members. Ladies of the older generation had Jeff Goldblum. Just look up his photos from his younger days. You’ll understand why. 

Jeff Goldblum

We finally found the person who created the tasteful Jeff Goldblum / Harambe shower curtain. It is this beautiful lady right here. She is a woman of culture, we must say. Her taste in men is fine as wine.

She took her obsession with Jeff Goldblum up by a notch. This time she purchased a Jeff Goldblum dress with the actor’s iconic shirtless scene from Jurassic Park (1993). Mom said ladies at the movie theater fainted when the sequence was first shown. We can see why.

Do Not Lick The Wall

We never thought we would see this set of five words arranged side by side in this order. Yet here we are. As evolved as humans may seem, it can’t be denied that some of us are stupid. Events such as this make us wish the world ended as predicted back in 2012.

We do not know what prompted people to push their taste glands against this wall. However, we think the authorities made a huge mistake by posting this. They are getting in the way of natural selection. Just let the idiots lick the wall, and hopefully, they die from diarrhea. 

For Cats

Our dad saw this photo from behind us and immediately started giggling. Of course, he will love dad jokes such as this. In fact, if he were to come up with a cat food company idea, it would be something lame like this. 

Something tells us the owner of this company is also a father. We’re still determining if we want to meet this person. Obviously, he’ll be best friends with our old man, but we won’t spend our money on these products.

Fun On The Go

We wish this existed when we were broke students who could not afford headphones. We spent so many hours traveling from one place to another without music, and it was boring. We had no option but to engage in many awkward conversations. 

This could have saved us a lot of trouble. We could buy and play with a small set on the train, and people would know to leave us alone. If they still did not get the hint, we could just put a Lego under their foot and watch them cry in pain. 

Candle

We have researched so many bizarre products for this listicle, yet nothing can hold a candle to this (oh no, our father’s humor is getting to us). We do not care what anyone says. Mac and cheese is the food of the gods. 

Potlucks are incomplete without a good bowl of mac and cheese. You can also provoke your lactose-intolerant enemies by eating mac and cheese in front of them. However, this is too much. We usually use candles to relax our minds. This would only make us hungry and restless. 

Balenciaga

The ironic hobby of the rich cosplaying as the poor homeless isn’t funny. It’s infuriating. No one capitalized on this bizarre hobby more than the luxury brand Balenciaga. Watching their latest collection makes us want to commit arson.

If this is fashion, we do not want it. We are not kidding; if we see you wearing these horrendous pants in public, we will offer you a penny. These overpriced pants look as if someone ran a lawnmower on them. 

Gummy Candy

We are not millionaires. However, we have reached financial stability where we can buy mozzarella and gouda cheese without bankruptcy. However, we still seek the trashy yet insanely delicious instant mac and cheese. There is something incredibly soothing about it.

Maybe it was because Craft mac and cheese filled our bellies as broke college students. However, we will not spend money on this atrocity. Gummies? Whoever thought of this must have been drunk when conceptualizing the product.

Crocs

Speaking of things that are undeserving of hate, Crocs are one of them. This comfortable footwear finally succeeded after enduring years of harsh criticism from fashion critics and internet trolls. Even its designer hated it due to its bizarre look.

Studies have also shown that they are better for health and easily customizable. However, this differs from what we had in mind when discussing personalization. It’s too much. It looks like this person stole a bunch of Crocs from toddlers and attached it to theirs. 

Flat Socks

In the wise words of our sister, “Hell nah, chief. This ain’t it”. We do not see eye to eye on many things. However, we can both agree that a special place in hell is reserved for this idiotic invention. 

Socks are a simple breed of apparel. You wear them, or you don’t. There is no shortcut. We understand If wearing socks annoys you. You could wear some comfortable slippers indoors. Why must you call insoles ‘flat socks’? People today make us shake our heads in disbelief.

Casket Throne

This casket is designed for those who claim that they are not like the rest of us. They are apparently ‘built differently.’ It is only fitting that their casket is unlike any other. As it turns out, lying down after dying is too mainstream. 

This is not necessary in the afterlife or life here on Earth, but you could bring this home and put it in your living room as a practical joke. This furniture is the perfect place for your daily dose of existential crisis.

Shaped Objects

We have no words. It took us a few minutes to think of what to write here. This is the first time we have been so speechless (other than when we met an anti-vaxxer who also happened to believe the earth was flat). 

We should give the designers a round of applause for being brutally honest. It is indeed a box of 2 shaped objects made from natural material. How to utilize them is something we do not wish to find out. We could use it as a coat hanger. 

Dragon

Only fools enjoy candy. Real men prefer dragon arteries as a snack (we are being sarcastic, please do not cancel us). We never watched a full podcast run by gym bros and misogynistic ‘alpha males’ (we are explicitly pointing at someone whose name rhymes with Sandrew Late).

However, we bet they eat these. We wonder what would happen if women ate these. Would they grow Adam’s apple and facial hair? Ladies, please take one for the team and test out these snacks. We would like to know what happens. 

Balenciaga

Something tells us Balenciaga knows what they are doing. Their meeting agenda is likely “What else can we get away with selling at an overpriced margin?” Their taste for fashion took a dive for the trash can, quite literally. 

We always wondered if people were foolish enough to part with their hard-earned money for things like these. This is one of the rare times we’re sad to be proven right. This is the perfect example that money can buy everything, except common sense.

Maple

The maple tree is the nectar of the gods. There is nothing like it. It’s sweet, but it has a taste that regular sugar can’t replicate. This is why we believe it is irreplaceable and the perfect condiment. Nothing is quite like it.

There is an unspoken law that you should never mess with anything perfect. However, the brand ‘Runamok’ apparently committed the sacrilegious sin of pouring glitter in perfectly good maple syrup. We love glitter just as much as grade schoolers. However, putting it in food shouldn’t be FDA-approved. 

Minecraft

Minecraft requires no introduction as it has already taken over the world. Even those who have no interest in gaming know what it is about. The beautiful thing about this game is that almost everyone can enjoy it, but the bad thing is young kids are wildly obsessed with it.

When Minecraft first gained popularity, it seemed almost every brand was trying to release something related to it. Soap bars, candies, diapers —- you name it. Almost everything had Minecraft stamped on it. Even cereals could not escape their clutch. 

Face Blanket

While researching for this listicle, we have finally accepted that we could never survive in a corporate world. We don’t have the talent to come up with gimmicky items such as this. Sometimes we feel like meeting the inventors and asking them what was happening in their heads. 

We’ll never understand why people would ditch eye masks and cover their whole face with this blanket while sleeping. Although there’s a hole in the middle where the nose is supposed to be, we can’t shake off the feeling of suffocating.

Latte

The iconic Twinkies have existed for almost a century. Thankfully, the brand is still going strong despite having several close calls with bankruptcy. Twinkies remain the go-to afterschool snack of America and still deliver diabetes to multiple generations. 

Over the years, they have taken a swing at items other than their signature cream-filled snack cake. Some were hit, while others were misses. This one is, thankfully, a hit. We have tried it, and we were delighted.

LED

Although we disagree that the toilet is the most peaceful place on earth, it should be a safe space where you can do your business. If someone bothers you, you can accuse them of being overbearing and cannot let others relieve themselves in peace. 

It is only fitting that you customize your bathroom to suit your needs. If you are a party person who enjoys being alone occasionally, this toilet paper holder is the perfect fit for you. Who knew you could party in the bathroom?

Marmite

Sorry, Australians, we have to be honest. Some of your staple foods are absolute abominations. We don’t want to be mean, but vegemite and marmite should cease. In all honesty, vegemite almost scares us more than your giant spiders (almost). 

To put it in a body wash should be considered a federal crime of endangering society. Also, is this not lowkey racist? What are they trying to say? Since when did Africa start smelling like yeast extract? Men already have a hard time smelling good. Don’t make things more difficult for them. 

Cash Table

We are too poor to even judge this. Math has never been our forte. However, t at least a million dollars is stacked in the picture. We sincerely hope this table is only for show and isn’t made of dollar bills. 

This furniture would be the perfect prank material if robbers dared to invade your home. The poor fellow would think they hit the jackpot. In reality, they are just carrying a piece of cardboard. We almost feel bad for them (almost). 

Finger

We wish this existed back when we were in middle school. This would have sent our peers and teachers to the nearest emergency room. However, it is not too late. You can use this as a harmless prank on your friends and family.

Although, we cannot guarantee your name is going to be on their will after this. This ring can also come in handy after you propose to your partner. If they say no, you can give them this gift. By doing so, you’ll literally be giving them the finger. 

Gravel

This obviously means nothing to those who are not interested in train models. However, if you listen closely, you might hear the sound of train hobbyists squealing in joy after seeing this contraption. Their causes are beyond our comprehension. 

However, when you are deep in the hobby, you go out of your way to make things perfect, which is why these useless yet somehow useful tools exist. Sheldon Cooper from our favorite TV series will undoubtedly enjoy this creation.

Puzzling

We just found out what to give our dad for Father’s Day. We may be puzzled by this invention (see what we did there?). However, our old man, with a wacky sense of humor, will surely love it. No one adores those jokes more than him. 

You could also send this to your persistent ex, who is still begging for a second chance. Give this to them and see if they can solve it. You will only agree to date them again if they manage to solve the puzzle. 

Chess

We have long accepted that fools like us do not have the intellect or the discipline to master this sophisticated sport. We’ll concentrate on our video games. However, those who love chess often take their material very seriously. 

Chess enthusiasts, our grandfather included, collect the most fantastic chess sets. We know they would have carried their gear everywhere if they could. Sadly, most of these are incredibly heavy. However, with this ring, you have nothing to worry about. 

Texas

There has been a recent trend of putting literally everything under the sun in a waffle iron. These days, electronic manufacturers are coming to us with various new waffle iron designs. Texas, of course, refused to be left out of the party. 

Everything is big in Texas. The same can be said about their love for their state. It was only fitting for a hotel to come up with a custom iron that lets guests make Texas-shaped waffles. The only thing that could make this better is if it was served with barbecue. 

Star Wars

Say what you want about the Star Wars Franchise. They had many problems on the set, and the writing for some movies could have been better. However, no one can deny how iconic they are. Even those who have never watched a movie know their theme song. 

Star Wars fans often do their wedding dances to this song. Kudos to John Williams for making something so timeless. The lyrics are also remarkable. Each ‘duh’ resonates in your heart. We can imagine the song sung in Homer Simpson’s voice. 

Fire Log

Say what you want about KFC, but you must admit they make good food. It started off as a fried chicken joint by Colonel Sanders. Now it has grown into a worldwide giant. They went out of their way to stay on the news, and we respect the hustle. 

KFC ventured out of its chicken expertise and dived into makeup, movies, and even anime. We wish we were kidding. They have an eyeshadow palette that smells like fried chicken and a romance movie starring Colonel as an attractive young man. Firewood is nothing compared to these. 

Licorice

We love Halloween. Everyone dresses fancy and collects candies. They also decorate the whole neighborhood. However, no one loves the holiday more than brands. Brands come up with new limited edition products which you either love or hate. 

We can confidently say we detest the sheer idea of this hotdog. The fact that it saw the light of day infuriates us to no end. Licorice is the most disgusting thing in the world (other than Harvey Weinstein). It should never be mixed with protein.

Potato

Potatoes might be the perfect food in the world. Think about it. No matter how you prepare it, potatoes will taste good as long as you salt it well. It does not matter if you fry them or boil them. 

No one can argue potatoes taste divine. We are sure this variety of fries also tastes good despite its questionable shape. This feels like something you will see on Shark Tank. You can bet it’s an eco-friendly tool to reduce plastic utensils. 

Cookie Cutter

Do you want new cookie cutters? Do heart and star shapes bore you to death? Don’t despair; these exotic utensils are going to rescue you and pull you out of your baking rut. These cookie cutters accurately imitate the cat’s backside and even have an intricate anus. 

Making sugar cookies for the next potluck with these cutters will either result in being uninvited from future events or making better friends. This is also a fine tool to help you assert dominance over your unruly house cat. 

Airpods

We saved arguably the worst one for the last. We want to slap whoever came up with this. It does not matter how digital and modern we become; we don’t see the sense of buying wireless headphones and then buying straps to secure them.

We always preferred wired earphones as they are more secure. Having the phone tethered to our listening device makes us confident that it’s within our grasp. The same can’t be said of wireless earphones. Your phone could already be stolen, and you won’t know any better because the song is still playing in your ears.